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Douai

Oblate

June 2003

No 19

From the Oblate Director

MUCH has happened since our last issue. We have had two oblate retreats at Douai; during one of them Fr James Donovan OSB died, quietly in his chair in his infirmary room. He had been chating to some of the oblates at morning coffee the day before. An obiturary will appear in the next issue of the Douai Abbey Newsletter. Please pray for him.

During that same retreat, on May 14 after Compline ten oblate novices, Barbara Blythe-Smith, Sylvia Bullivant, Francis Buxton, Susan Fisher, Fr Antony Hayne, Anthony Howes, Colin Johnson, Patricia Johnson, Beryl Mitchell and Diana Stubbs, made their final oblation, the largest number who have done this on a single occasion. Nine of the ten were from the Julian Chapter which meets monthly at Cromer, Norfolk. At the same celebration Fr Derek Vidler became an oblate novice. During the previous retreat, on April 5, Michael Garrity made final oblation and Renata Clayton and Iain Campbell-King became oblate novices.

On Saturday June 14 I shall be going to Alcester to inaugurate a chapter there. This should have happened before Easter, but illness prevented it.

The big event of the summer will be the celebration of our centenary at Woolhampton. The celebration will continue over a year, beginning with a grand Mass on June 21 at which Cardinal Cormac Murphy O’Connor will preside. The Cardinal is well known at Douai, having been born in Reading. As a young priest in this diocese he was for a time bishop’s secretary and used to accompany Bishop Anthony Emery on his visits to Douai.

The sermon at the Mass will be delivered by the Abbot Primate, Notker Wolf OSB. As Abbot of St Ottilien, Germany, he had previously visited Douai for meetings of the Monastic Interfaith Dialogue.

The number of oblates is increasing world wide as is interest in the Benedictine tradition. The review by Ron O’Toole of Wil Derkse’s book mentions how the shelves of the religious sections of book shops are weighed down with recent books on Benedictine spirituality.

Older books are being given new editions, the latest to be reissued is The Spiritual Letters of Abbot Chapman which has just re-appeared with an excellent introduction by Sebastian Moore OSB. John Chapman had been a monk of Maredsous Abbey in Belgium, then part of the German Beuronese Congregation, when Hildebrande de Hemptinne, who was to become the first Abbot Primate, and later, Bl Columba Marmion were abbots. He had been seconded to the Beuronese house in England, Erdington Abbey, Birmingham, where he had been prior. He was appointed temporary superior of the community at Caldey when they had become Catholics in order to initiate them into authentic Benedictine ways.

In 1919 he transferred his stability to Downside Abbey, although he was resident in Rome working on the revision of the Vulgate until 1922 when he became prior of Downside, where he was elected abbot in 1929 after only ten years in that community. Sadly he died after only four years in office. Abbot Chapman, who gave the Douai community retreat in 1932, was well known for his practical approach to prayer. After his death his letters were published, but the book has been out of print for many years. The re-issue is important as these letters are still invaluable today. Abbot Chapman’s teaching can be summed up as ‘pray as you can not as you can’t’.

Spiritual Letters by Abbot Chapman with Introduction by Sebastian Moore OSB is published by Burns Oates Continuum, London 2003 ISBN 0-8601-2334-0 available from Douai Abbey Bookshop price £11.99.
‡

TOM BARROW 1922 - 2003

PRAY for oblate Tom Barrow who died on April 30. Several oblates were present at his funeral Mass on May 2 in St Edward’s church, Windsor. We are grateful to oblate Zina Neagle for writing the following appreciation.

TOM BARROW departed from this world during his sleep exactly one week before his 81st birthday on Wednesday April 30, 2003, at Wexham Park Hospital, Slough. He had been born in Cookham, Berkshire, and lived most of his life in Windsor.

He was married for 52 years to Ivy and they had three children; two sons, Christopher and Peter, and a daughter, Angela; there are four grandchildren. He was always very proud of his children and grandchildren and showed much love and respect for them. He was well known and had many friends.

Tom and his wife were church-goers for many years at St Stephen’s Anglican Church, Windsor; eight years ago he became a Catholic, joining the parish at St Edward’s. A few years later, Ivy also became a Catholic.

At St Stephen’s he had been one of the founder members of the choir, so when he came to St Edward’s, his passion for singing continued and he joined the choir there. During weekdays he was a regular server at Mass and was also a eucharistic minister.

Tom was a quiet spiritual man who was kind and gentle. He was always generous and very thoughtful and had a good sense of humour. Every year he made an annual pilgrimage to Walsingham as he had a great love for Our Lady.

For many years Tom had been a Benedictine oblate, first at Nashdom Abbey, then at Buckfast Abbey. Two years ago when the journey to Buckfast became too much for him, he transferred his oblation to Douai. Tom suffered from colon cancer and had major surgery six years ago. Three years later his wife died suddenly of a heart attack. This was a harsh blow to him but despite his suffering and grief, he quietly sought to get on with life as best he could.

Tom lived in hope right up to the end. He grieved terrible for his wife and missed her very much, yet I never once heard him complain about anything, not even his illness, and he would only tell you how he was if you specifically asked him, otherwise he always wanted to know about others. He tried to plan his life so that he always had something to look forward to and he was easily pleased with small gestures.

Tom looked much younger than his eighty years and was a man full of surprises. There are two things in particular that I will always remember him for. The first is for his desire to keep mentally active. He kept up-to-date with his knowledge of pharmacology, his profession, and he knew a fair amount about modern medicine. The second is for his forward thinking. On his 80th birthday he decided to buy a computer and subsequently signed up for lessons at East Berkshire College. He got as far as receiving emails at home and being able to access and open them, and I know he scrolled through the Douai Abbey website several times.

One thing Tom loved very much was his food, and even up to three days before he died he said to me that he couldn’t wait to get out of hospital for the food was ‘awful’, and ‘I could murder a roast dinner’!

At his funeral he was described as a ‘realist’ about his condition. He had made all the arrangements for his funeral in advance. To his family he had left a handwritten note indicating which readings and hymns he wanted.

Tom was present at my final oblation in December 2001 and kindly gave me a fine small statue of St Benedict which sits next to my computer at home. It now has a new signifiance because of his death, and I can’t help but smile when I look at it, for it reminds me of Tom and that there is no doubt he was a real Benedictine at heart.

May he rest in peace. Amen.‡

MONEY, FRIENDS and HOSPITALITY FREELY GIVEN
by Oblate Simon Bryden-Brook

I AM fortunate in having built up a goodly circle of true friends over the years. There is a core of them with whom I enjoy particular intimacy and trust. These relationships are characterised by total honesty between us - no pretence, no self-deception, no fear of revealing oneself at one’s worst - and total giving - each party giving to the other without keeping a tab. How far this is from those groups of ‘friends’ you see in restaurants who either insist on separate bills or get involved in complicated calculations afterwards to ensure that they don’t pay for anyone else’s consumption!

Such generosity in a relationship must be completely mutual of course or the relationship collapses. Anyone who suffers from a feeling of being exploited cannot give love, or true friendship, in return. For this reason, both parties to such a close relationship take care that they make proper contributions at appropriate times. but never so gross as, for example, "Well, you have let me stay here two nights, so here is a cheque for £100!" A friend would be insulted, would feel the generosity of the act of offering hospitality was being called into question as if it were a commercial transaction!

There is a theology behind this, of course, and it is God’s covenant relationship with Israel. God’s covenant love led him to "give, give, give!" in the face of constant betrayal and exploitation by the other party to the relationship. Hosea compared this ideal relationship to his own marriage to a faithless women. Not ever having enjoyed such a married relationship myself, I am unable to speak from personal experience of marriage, but I do know that my closest friendships are modelled on this ancient Hebrew one. Central to such a relationship is hospitality. Abraham offered hospitality, without thought of a folded cheque in his palm afterwards, to what turned out to be angels. Jesus warned us that failure to feed the hungry, house the homeless or clothe the naked meant we risked not recognising the divine in others. So, I aim to support CAFOD as much as I can - as my chosen vehicle to fulfil the injunctions of Matthew 25 just quoted, and at the same time to characterise as many of my other relationships as possible with generosity. I am not always successful. Often I appear cold and rejecting to strangers, but I am comforted that at other times I am mistakenly labelled rich simply as a result of my attempts to be generous in my hospitality!

For these reasons I could not accept hospitality from Douai Abbey either without making a contribution of my own nor as a commercial transaction. Fortunately this attitude is encouraged by the Inland Revenue! By contributing a monthly sum by standing order from my bank I am happy in the knowledge that I am not exploiting the monastery’s generous interpretation of its obligations under Chapter 53 of the rule. As you see in its literature, the monks do not ask for payment for their hospitality, "We appreciate donations towards the cost of a stay, but we would not want anyone to stay away simply on grounds of costs". Payment for such generosity would turn it into a commercial transaction and this would then lose its charitable character both theologically and in tax terms.

The benefits of a standing order arrangement are several: the monks know they are offering generously and that I am happy in humility to accept this. On the other hand, I am not exploiting their generosity. As an earner and a taxpayer I make a contribution from my income - something they cannot do. The two are not linked. As a result, the Inland Revenue sends the monastic bursar a cheque for 28.2% (at current tax rates) on top of what I have contributed representing the tax deducted before I got it. This is a generous reward to the monastic community for the charity of offering hospitality freely. If I aim to spend three weekends a year in the monastery as a rule and make a fair contribution, then a monthly standing order of £25 seems reasonable. This avoids any link between the generosity of the monks and mine, any appearance of ‘payment’ and allows the Inland Revenue to add £84.61 to the £300 p.a. sent by my bank at no cost to myself: generosity is catching!

Back to the restaurant scene of friends facing the bill - "I had the chicken which was £2.50 cheaper than the beef and I noticed you had your gin and tonic put on the bill - at least £4.00. Get out the calculator!" Not very Benedictine!

May I also ask the monastery to let us know the form of words they recommend for those of us who wish to mention them in our wills? In fact, would it be an idea for there to be leaflet on ‘ways an oblate can help the monastery financially’ given to every oblate at some stage for their folder? If the monks are hesitant to appear to be asking for money, perhaps a group of oblates could draft a document for the oblate master’s and bursar’s approval?‡

Book Review by Oblate Ron O’Toole
The Rule of Benedict for Beginners. Spirituality for Daily Life by Wil Derkse.

I HOPE it is more than a passing fad, a spiritual fashion, but whatever, Benedict is ‘in’ as never before. The ‘spiritual’ shelves in bookshops bend under the weight of works on living the Rule outside the walls.

All the ones I have read have things to offer the reader, some more than others. Derkse, however, has given us a work that is valuable from the introduction to the last page. In reviewing it one has a problem, I could put in so many quotations that reading the review would be almost like reading the whole book.

If I wanted to use just one work to describe this volume it would be ‘real’. The man knows his subject because he has lived with it for many years, and so it is not the result of a new found enthusiasm, he is enthusiastic, but it springs from a deep understanding of what is at the core of Benedictine Life. ‘Benedictine life is not intended for spiritual musclemen’ (p7).

The author divides his book into very useful sections each of which has a title. Many of these draw you into the section with a great interest. Here are a few of the section titles:

I particularly like the section on Lectio Divina: When I glanced at these subtitles I immediately wanted to get into the ‘plot’.

We, all of us, are in society. We live in a variety of communities, in fact we all live in many groupings - my family, my parish, my deanery and diocese, my Benedictine group and Douai, my neighbours, and so one. In all of these areas of life Derkse would see us called to Benedictine leadership, ‘stimulating people towards growth’. Often we must wonder how we are to affect the world around us. Well, this is how, through living our Benedictine life in simplicity, and with balance and joy, we stimulate those around us without even noticing it. Not a soap box in sight! Just the reality of our way of living.

There is so much more, get the book, enjoy it and be stimulated and enthused by it.

Then remember ‘we remain always and daily beginners on our pilgrim road to a better quality of life’. (p6).

The Rule of Benedict for Beginners by Wil Derkse is published by The Liturgical Press, Collegeville, Minnesota. ISBN 0-8146-2802-8 available from Douai Abbey Bookshop price< £7.99.‡

Prayer

PLEASE pray for healing for oblate Katherine Ryan who has had an operation on a tendron in her arm.‡

Douai Oblate is the Newsletter for the Oblates of Douai Abbey. It is published at Douai Abbey, Upper Woolhampton, Reading, Berks, RG7 5TQ, phone 0118 971 5338, fax 0118 971 5303, e-mail oblate@douaiabbey.org.uk June 10, 2003

Go to Oblates Page  : To Douai Oblate February 2003.
Douai Abbey Registered Charity No. 236962

11/06/03(GH)

Gervase Holdaway OSB, Douai Abbey, Upper Woolhampton, Reading, Berks. RG7 5TQ