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No 166 - 2003
3. Fr Wilfrid Sollom OSB Some Personal Tributes
1. Tom Ryan, Oblate, 1969-74
ON the way into lunch on a Wednesday in 1972 I was told my housemaster wanted to see me at a quarter past two. This was an unusual time to be called up by Fr Martin and, as it seemed to me, boded ill. I suspected some misdeed had been discovered.
During lunch Fr Wilfrid approached. "Meet me in Soho after lunch, please. Fr Boniface needs a new telephone." As one of the less technically gifted of the gang of cherry-picker movers and builders of telephone exchanges and installers of fire alarms, the request was not notably unusual.
In due course I stood, holding a box of cable clips or some such, whilst the new telephone was installed. As the hour of the summons approached I asked if I might leave to see Fr Martin. "Off you go." Gruffly, I was despatched and then, curiously, for nothing more was expected, he added, "Take care. God bless." and a kindly smile.
Five minutes later I learnt my father had died that morning and I was to go home that afternoon.
I realised soon after that the telephone installation request had been a deliberate device to keep me occupied until the moment came for the shocking news.
It was not, however, until some years later that the full impact of what Wilfrid had done that afternoon came home to me. I was at Douai for the Easter retreat and with others, including Wilfrid, we were practising music for the liturgy. One of the pieces was a setting of Isaiah 53:4. Immediately I recalled that May afternoon and understood the compassion with which he had carried the pain he knew I had to go through.
"Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows "
2. Betty & David Gannicott
One of the many letters we received came from Betty and David Gannicott who were put in touch with Fr Wilfrid by a former pupil and radio ham, Gerry Bulger. They gave us permission to quote their letter.
"Our son Peter had a most devastating road accident in 1988 when he was 22 years of age, which left him unable to breathe without artificial stimulation, completely paralysed and unable to make even he slightest sound, let alone speak - but with an intact brain. The only movement Peter had left was his left eyebrow ... Peter desperately wanted to be able to use modern technology and in particular, a computer, but how was he to access it with his extremely limited movement? We had approached many people who worked in the field providing equipment for the severely disabled but nobody had been able to devise anything suitable for Peter.
That is when Fr Wilfrid entered our lives. From their very first meeting Peter and Fr Wilfrid established a special repartee. He understood Peter and gave him so much. His patience and dedication were exceptional, He approached Peter's problem from a completely different angle to all the 'experts' who had tried to help before. Instead of trying to make Peter fit a system, he devised a system to fit Peter. The Eyebrow Switch was devised (see Eye-Brow Matters, The Douai Magazine vol. 1 new series no 10 page 43) and even though twenty years have elapsed since Fr Wilfrid made the first one and attached it to a pair of spectacles for Peter, nothing has been more successful for him as a method of access. Now with very sophisticated equipment, his method of access is still Fr Wilfrid's rolling wheel on a pair of spectacles.
To our family, Fr Wilfrid was a genius; a man of great understanding, kindness and an empathy for Peter. He gave so much of his spare time to devising programmes for Peter, was always so patient and willing to do more. In addition, he had a wonderful sense of humour."
We also received a card from Peter himself, printed on his computer using his eyebrow spectacles, with a photograph of himself using it and containing a poem he had written in memory of Wilfrid with whom he had kept in regular email contact.
3. John Young 1960-64
At the age of 56 there are now few things I can remember clearly from my time at Douai. An experience with Fr Wilfrid is etched more clearly on my mind than anything else I can recall.
He was responsible whilst I was there for running the woodwork shop, where I spent many happy hours learning to plane, saw, and make useless presents for my family. He decided that woodwork was pretty boring when there was all the excitement of electronics to play with, and he encouraged me to get a kit from which to make a transistor radio, a Heathkit, I recall, cased in leather. You don't get those any more. This preceded the days of integrated circuits, so the transistors had to be soldered very carefully onto a circuit board. The instructions were full of the dire consequences of allowing the transistors to get too hot, and I was terrified that I would burn them. Fr Wilfrid spent hours with me helping to build it, and I can even now recall my incredulity that any grown up would be prepared to spend so much time with me, an insignificant 16 year old.
When we had it built, on November 22 1963, I was privileged to be taken to his amazing radio shack, which looked just like the inside of a space ship. We had to tune my little radio so that the dial pointed to the right place when tuned in, which required us to use his ham radio to find the frequency of the correct station. Whilst searching for a signal we landed accidently on a transmission from Voice of America. It was the first announcement that President Kennedy had been shot. We were both stunned at this news as Kennedy was a heroic character for a small boy, and no doubt for an adult it caused dire forebodings. My recollection is that Fr Wilfrid immediately sent me away, telling me to pray for the President as it was his intention so to do. That moment, when I saw the first adult who had befriended me in my life change in an instant from joviality and friendliness to stern concern on receipt of bad news, was the moment I think I began to understand what being grown up was like.
Well, I went on to be an engineer, and my introduction to electronics by Fr Wilfrid has kept me in that world to this day.
He was a role model which I was extemely fortunate to have.
4. Kevin Maguire 1977-96
We reprint extracts from the appreciation by Kevin Maguire which appeared in our 1987 issue after Fr Wilfrids retirement as headmaster.
.... Fr Wilfrid never attempted to fit into any established mould of headmastership. He had a job to do and he got on and did it. Many could have told him how he could have done the job differently, and to what grander image he might have conformed his 'reign', but I suspect such suggestions would have had as much effect on him as the specious excuses of a 6th former caught smoking in bed in the morning. Fr Wilfrid 'did it his way'. He knew what he was doing and where he was going and he gave to everyone in the school the inestimable gift of knowing exactly where they stood and what was expected of them. The headmaster had no pretensions and saw pretty well through the pretensions of others.
You could not get away with much in Fr Wilfrids presence; and his presence was ubiquitous; it was likely to creep up on you at any moment and in the most unexpected places. A not very angelic past as a Douai schoolboy himself had given him an unrivalled knowledge of all possible hideouts on and near the premises, much to the ultimate advantage of the Cancer Research Fund. Yet Fr Wilfrids unyielding rigour in matters of discipline could not cover up his deep and personal compassion for anyone in trouble. It was sometimes the hardest cases among the schools delinquents who in the end had the most cause for gratitude for Fr Wilfrids unstinting care. The hours spent at bedsides or in endless talking and listening will remain a secret to all but a few, but many came to realise in the end that of all the people at Douai there were very few who cared for them more. Compassion does not always speak softly.
Like all the best schoolmasters, Fr Wilfrid was not a 'born teacher'. His interests were too wide to be restricted to the petty details of discipline and administration. Because he was enthusiastic for his own interests, whether radios or telephones or computers, he taught in that more effective way by sheer example of persevering enthusiam and commitment. He was a free man because his ultimate interests were elsewhere, not only in the absorbing world of electronics, but also in the spiritual ambitions of his monastic vocation. A man of integrity, commitment and humility, he gave those virtues unstintingly to all in his care, for long and tiring years. ...
Index
Fr Wilfrid Sollom 1926 - 2003 - Obituary
The Abbey of Saints Adrian and Denis, Lamspringe, Germany by Abbot Geoffrey Scott
Spirituality in the Workplace by David Westcott
From The Douai Magazine 100 Years Ago
Douai Abbey Newsletter 19 including Community Notes
Go to index of Douai Newsletter.